April 17, 2012

Funny Not Slutty - 80s week!!


I was in, like, total desperate need of a miracle, for sure. I needed my breasts to be bitchin’ and now! Then, heaven sent a miracle to me in the form on John Hughes and his gnarly story of every almost-16 year old in the world. In 16 Candles, Samantha is fraught for her boobal region to expand so she eats carrots in the hopes of her budding bosom developing into big ol’ honkin’ hooters. Well, if Molly Ringwald did it, it must be legit.
I ate carrots like Ms. Pacman ate ghosts. As I’d devour a carrot in the lunchroom, the Preppies would all cheer and congratulate me. “Awesome to the Max!” they’d holler.



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2 comments:

  1. So carrots, huh? I guess it didn't work, right? ;-)
    In the 80's, I tried weird herbs, pectoral exercises, you name it-----then, the other day, I was running on the track and spotted a well endowed woman trying to run, but it looked more like she was struggling to remain upright while simultaneously trying to avoid a black eye--I think I've finally resigned myself to just be OK with being flat chested.

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    Replies
    1. You've seen me in baggie shirts and bathing suits. There are not enough carrots in the world to deliver me from an A cup.

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