March 28, 2013

Countdown: The Sex Talk

In counting down to TMI Mom: Oversharing My Life's release on April 1, I'm taking your suggestions and writing what YOU want me to write about as determined by the likes on our TMI Mom Facebook page.  Today's suggestion comes from Stronger Me. Email me Stronger Me--You've won a big ol' chocolate bar and some TMI Mom bookmarks!


In TMI Mom Oversharing My Life, I share and share and share again about sex talks that have gone wrong. I tell about the time that I thought the F-word was related to Matchbox Cars. I tell about the time Daughter 1 reads a book about puberty and turns our whole household 50 shades of cra-cra. Even on this blog, I've written about the bona fide, real-life, this is how we "do it" sex talk with Daughter 1.  But, that wasn't the first time Daughter 1 and I had visited about S-E-X.


Several, several years ago, as Brian and I were enjoying each other as only a husband and wife can, I was interrupted by a little fist punch to my naked butt in much the same way a sleepy toddler would punch a pillow trying to make it fluffier.  

My initial thought was, "Do I like when Brian punches my butt?"  

My second thought was, "How in the world is he doing that from this position?" 

Then, as blood began flowing to my brain again, I thought, "He's not touching me in my butt-al region."

We had been interrupted by a little fist punch to my naked butt in much the same way a sleepy toddler would punch a pillow because it was a sleepy toddler punching my pillow-like butt.

The next day, I felt the need to write a letter to her future therapist. Then, I sat her little five-year-old self down and we talked. It was our very first (but not last) birds and bees talk. 

"Sometimes," I started with a shaky voice, "Mommas and Daddys like to lay down in bed together."

"In bed together," she repeated.

"Yes," I continued, "And when they lay down in bed together, they like to kiss and snuggle and cuddle and touch each other."

"Kiss and snuggle and cuddle and touch each other," she repeated.

"Yes, and sometimes they take their clothes off---"

"Sometimes they take their clothes off."

"Don't interrupt. It's hard for Momma to talk about this."

"It's hard for Momma to talk about this."

"Wait. Are you just copying me?"

"Wait. Are you just copying me?"

"I want to talk to you about last night."

"I want to talk to you about last night."

"Daughter 1 ... "

"Momma ..."

"HA!" I exclaimed, "I won!"

She giggled as little five-year-olds do and that was the end of our very first sex talk. Ya know what? She was young. She still had plenty of time to make friends who were bolder and knew a lot more than her momma.

AddThis

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...