March 24, 2013

We Lived an SNL skit

Last week, we discovered that the World National Championship of Dog Agility Training Finals (or whatever) was in town (or close enough) and, since Daughter 1 adores all things dogs and since Daughter 2 just loves life, we decided to head to the final round and watch the champions be crowned or leashed or unleashed or whatever.

We arrived in time to watch the handlers do a walk through of the course. This is where the trainers or handlers (humans) walk through the course without their dogs. They learn the course and practice giving their dogs commands. But the dogs aren't there. In short, they look crazy

Then, the announcer welcomes us all to the event and the games begin. It took me a good fifteen minutes to convince myself I wasn't in the midst of a Saturday Night Live skit. At one point, the announcer said, "This is a life-changing moment for this little shitzu." Life changing. The dog wasn't even going to Disney World afterwards. The whole event would have given Lorne Michaels a stiffy.

During the 16-inch category, we found a husband and wife pitted against each other. The husband ran the course with his Border Collie fairly early in the round. The wife ran the course with her Border Collie as the last entrant. The announcer about busted a vein in her forehead giving the play-by-play of the wife's run. I hadn't heard such passion in sports announcing since Dick Vitale announced Kentucky Wildcats to a 2012 NCAA champions, baby. (This year, he'll be screaming Gonzaga, baby!)

The wife won by 0.08 of a second. The husband threw down his leash and let loose a string of obscenities. No. Not really. It would have been pretty cool if he did, though. Instead he walked over to his wife, kissed her and patted the dog.

I turned to Brian and said, "We never run our dogs against each other."

Without even batting an eye he said, "I call Bo."

Of course, he'd say that. JJ, our sweet black lab has a bum hip. JJ couldn't even go through the course if it were set for a four-inch dog. JJ would just sit at the starting line, drool, wag his 50-pound tail and fart. It's what he does best.

Bo, is a working dog. He's an Australian shepherd; he's an alpha dog. Unless it's raining.

Then, he's a naughty dog. A very, very naughty dog.

We'll never make the national jump over bars national contest. Lorne Michaels, however, might be very interested in our canine antics.


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