April 3, 2013

If you can't dish it...

Daughter 1 lamented that no one had gotten her with an April Fools Joke nor had she gotten anyone else. "It's not fair."

I turned to her as I chopped the taco meat--can you really ever get it as fine as The Bell? Maybe I should stop using beef--and said, "I'm pregnant."

"That's your joke?" she snarled. "It's kinda lame from someone who claims to be an 'author'." Then she made air quotes with her fingers. Damn. My snark was rubbing off on her.


Enter Daughter 2. Daughter 2 can always be counted on to be the easy prey.

Her older sister called her out of the kitchen and into the office. "Don't tell anyone," I heard her whisper, "But I gave mom a pregnancy test and she's pregnant." For a brief minute I wondered how she thought a pregnancy test was administered if she gave it to me.

"What?" gasped Daughter 2. "No way. She's old."

"I know, right?" Daughter 1's voice was dripping with success.

"Daddy's going to be so mad," Daughter 2 continued to bite. "So danged mad."

"Right," Daughter 1 encouraged.

"Imma tell him," she muttered right before she sucked in a lung-full of air and yelled, "Daddy! Momma's pregnant!"

Brian, who was in his recliner on the computer, replied, "Alright. I've already got two kids who don't listen to me. What's one more?"

"Aren't you mad?"

"Why would I be mad?" he called back to his younger daughter.

"Because," she said looking at her sister and winking, "You're not the daddy!" Then she whispered to her sister, "April Fools."

She enjoyed her five minutes of funny until we sat down to dinner, at which time she asked Brian again, "Aren't you mad that momma's pregnant and you're not the daddy?"

Her sister, who just couldn't stand it anymore giggled, "Momma's NOT pregnant. It was my April Fools joke on you!"

Standing up from the table, but taking her taco salad with her, she proclaimed while avoiding looking at her daddy, "I hate April Fools jokes."

She can dish it, but she can't take it...



PS-I don't just claim to be an author, I really am an author, and--no joke--my book was released just yesterday! Wanna know more about our antics? Check out TMI Mom Oversharing My Life on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. And come see me (and quite possibly The Daughters as well) at my events!

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