July 5, 2013

Five For Friday: Shows That Make Me Want To Shoot My TV

During the school year, our TV watching is limited because our time is limited. During the summer, we still limit our TV time. The Daughters each get one show during the day and then we'll watch a show together as a family in the evening. Almost every single show The Daughters have picked to watch have gotten on my very last nerve and makes me eternally grateful we don't have time to watch them more during the school year.

1. Max and Ruby: For starters, my daughters are 11 and 9. We should be beyond this show. I'm pretty sure the only reason they are watching Max and Ruby is because they want to see if my head will explode. I'm not a hunter. I don't own a gun. I have never even shot a gun (aside from my cousins' BB guns), but Max and Ruby, strike that, just Ruby, makes me want to hunt rabbits. Or at least shoot my television set.

2. My Little Pony: Once again, we're too old for this show, but as Daughter 1 puts it, "There's no quality horse shows otherwise." She may be right, but if I have to hear about a pony getting a cutie mark later than her friends, I'll start hunting horses. By the way, a period--which is what a cutie mark alludes to, right?--is not cute. Not cute at all.

3. Toddlers and Tiaras: My girls turn this show on and then start griping about how awful the pageant moms are. Pretty soon, I've sat down with them and together we're agreeing that these mommas have problems that far exceed the reach of even TLC. So, for that episode, my daughters and I are bound together by our disdain of crazy. But, I always feel like I've been tricked into watching crap for an hour. Then The Daughters crown me the world's best momma, give me a tiara and I order pizza for dinner.

4. Sam and Cat: I loved Sam in iCarly. I adored Cat in Victorious. Together, however, they are a train wreck. No, TeenNick, just no. We do not want our girls to think it's okay to grow up and be a babysitter, taking in stray kids in an apartment that they cannot possibly afford without a college degree and a big-time job in banking, where they embezzle money from the working stiff. Just no. Their antics aren't even cute anymore. No.

5. Breaking Amish: Haven't we already established that these kids aren't really brought in fresh from the farm? Haven't we already establish that these kids are plants? Then we are they still on TV? C'mon. You wanna what it's like when country meets city, then we watch the Duck Dynasty episode where Uncle Sy drives a truck to make a deliver. That's good TV right there, Jack.


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