"You wanna use this?" Ben, the young and--let's hope--chaste cashier at the Big Box Sporting Goods store said to Daughter 2 as she struggled to open her softball-shaped lip gloss. Then he handed her a box cutter.
A Box Cutter.
We'd spent the evening running all over Tulsa trying to find everything she needed for her softball team (Go, Oklahoma Bedlam!) and at what I thought would be our last stop at the south-edge of town, we discovered Ball Balms. Ball Balms (they may have had some other catchy name) were sports-ball-shaped lip balm holders. At the south store, they had tennis balls, baseballs, soccer balls and golf balls.
Daughter 1, the golfer, was thrilled to snag up one of the last golf balls. Daughter 2, the softballer, was heavy-hearted because a baseball is not the same as a golf ball and, while the tennis ball Ball Balm was the right color, it had no tell-tale red-stitching. So, I said I'd drive completely out of our way home and go to the other Big Box Sporting Goods store to look for softball Ball Balm. Yes, I am a good mom. Not indulgent at all.
We pulled into their parking lot with seven minutes to spare before they closed the doors on my baby girl's dream of having softball-shaped lip balm for her bat bag.
Quicker than you can say $12 worth of gas, we found a softball-shaped lip balm--new in package. And we raced to the front of the check out and paid.
As I was putting the change in my purse, Daughter 2 was struggling to get her softball-shaped lip gloss out of the protective plastic wrap, and that's where Ben stepped in.
I'm sure Ben was just working hard so he could score some beer after his soccer tournament next weekend. I'm sure he enjoyed the discount on his endless items dotted with the Under Armor logo so he could look cool and athletic at school. I'm also sure that Ben was not using his oft-hit-with-a-ball head when he handed Daughter 2 a box cutter.
"Will this help?" he said, his voice full of innocence.
"Ummm ... " I offered, not really knowing how to say Hell no a box cutter will not help a nine-year-old get plastic off a ball!
But before I could say anything, Daughter 2 pushed the blade all the way up and said, "Dang! I cut some serious balls with this!"
Ben quickly retrieved the box cutter from Daughter 2. I like to think he's learned his lesson: Box cutters will cut some serious balls.