February 2, 2014

Give me an S! (For Stupid)

When we found out that Daughter 1 was not Son 1, we declared then and there that she would not be a cheerleader. Now that Daughter 1 is a tween, it's clear that she's completely on board with our desires. Daughter 2, though ... man, that's a different story.

It's not that we think cheerleaders are evil; we just don't believe that the end of a cheerleading road is someplace we want our girls to hang their hats at night. Let me explain. If our daughters play softball growing up, they can join a softball league as an adult. If they play golf, they can continue to play golf as an adult. But, if they, as an adult, don a cheerleading uniform, shake their pompoms and run onto a football field, they are arrested for public intoxication. We just wanted our kiddos to participate in activities that would serve them well for their entire lives.

Please understand that I know all about competitive cheer with the stunts and tumbling and routines, and I support that fact that cheerleading is an athletic endeavor. I just don't believe that Daughter 2 wants that out of life. I think she wants the short skirt and the matching bow, if the truth is told.

It might have been a little hypocritical of us--and by us, I mean me. I was a little girl during the mid- to late-seventies. My sixth grade year, found me on the sidelines shaking a pair of black and gold pom poms, cheering on the YMCA Raiders. But, I really wanted nothing more than to be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. I'm also pretty sure that if I were a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader, Brian would have not one complaint about cheerleading in general.

I loved those boots. I did. I really did.               Source

I wanted to marry Roger Staubach, and knew what a Fedora was thanks in no small part to Tom Landry, who was the third most important man every Sunday behind God and the preacher.

Back to Daughter 2. This kid. She's an awesome athlete. She can seriously compete in any activity and competes well. But, she's also a girly girl. She wants to accessorize herself like a QVC model, and she's always trying the new and latest hair styles. And ... she really, really wants to be a cheerleader.

When asked why she wants to cheer, she'll stiff-arm an off-the-cuff routine that involves the words victory, defense and let it roll.

I conceded and told her that quite possibly, this fall, she could cheer. Sigh. I don't want this to become her one true passion, but I don't want her to always wish she could have been a cheerleader when it could be an easy and somewhat harmless fix. But, I'll be honest here, I hope it's not something she loves. Because if it does become a life-long pursuit for her, I'm afraid of her becoming an Oakland Raiderette.

You've heard about this, right? The organization has a "super secret" cheerleader handbook. And a not-so-super-secret scorned cheerleader has let its contents leak.

If you don’t like your meal, try a little of everything and strategically move the rest around your plate.” And, “Gently unfold your napkin and place it on your lap. Fold it almost in half and place it with the fold side towards your body. If you need to leave the table, place the napkin on your chair, and don’t forget to say, ‘Excuse me.’
It takes 3-5 seconds to form a first impression of someone. Think about the last time you met someone for the first time. You probably looked at their hair, jewelry, facial expressions, style of clothes, shoes and nails…

If you are a grown woman and you still need very basic social functions explained to you, then being an adult cheerleader is the least of your concerns and quite possibly the department of human services might want to do frequent welfare checks on you.

I might have made that last one up. But, I bet we find it in some form there.

So, my fingers are crossed the Daughter 2 cheer and get it out of her system, that Daughter 1 not torment her too horribly and that Brian and I can lead her down a road that leads to fulfillment as an adult and not necessarily down a road that leads to cheerleading. Unless she makes the Cowgirls squad, then Go Cowboys!


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