They say that the primary cause for divorce is marriage. OK, but seriously… A divorce can be emotionally overwhelming, immensely stressful and a hit to your pocketbook.
Divorces happen for a wide array of reasons. Everything from falling out of love to realizing that you made a mistake marrying the person – in some cases, especially south of the border, people are separating because they voted for a specific 2016 presidential candidates.
It can be a challenging issue, which is why it is important to seek the services of a divorce lawyer. These attorneys have seen and done it all: spouses who hate each other, spouses who are unsure if it is the right decision moving forward and spouses who happen to be parents. The most important aspect of a divorce is remaining calm at all possible times. Should you fail to compose yourself, then you only put yourself at jeopardy and prolong the agony.
Here are six things every divorce lawyer will tell you NOT to do:
1. Don’t Dismiss Mediation or Collaborative Divorce
When you file for divorce, there are two steps you can take to follow through: use mediation or take advantage of collaborative divorce. Mediation involves a divorce mediator who assists you and your significant other reach an agreement. A collaborative divorce contains multiple parties, including attorneys, therapists and coaches, to come to an agreement.
These are much better approaches than heading to court and bringing your skeletons to the forefront of the legal system.
2. Children Involved? Don’t Manipulate the Kids
Divorce is the hardest on children. Seeing their mother and father combat on a daily basis and breaking the home can provide a tremendous amount of heartache.
What you don’t want to do is manipulate your son and/or daughter throughout the divorce proceedings. Just because you may detest your spouse right now, it is crucial to avoid making them hate that person or encourage them to be on your side.
You want your children to be alienated from the process as much as possible.
3. Refrain from Settling Early in the Case
Yes, it is an arduous endeavour and will require a lot of energy, time and resources to complete. That said, you should never decide to settle early in the case because it will only impact your financial security once the relationship has come to an end.
4. Taking the Other Person’s Money
Did your wife or husband cheat on you? Do you hate your spouse? Are you trying to exact revenge? You are flooded with all kinds of emotions right now, but you don’t want to act out on your impulses at this time.
One of the worst things you can do is to access the other person’s bank account or go into their safe or wallet and take their money to go on a shopping spree. This sheds a negative light on you and hurts your overall case.
5. Ranting on Social Media, Refusing to Talk to Your Partner
Social media is essentially the premier destination for ranting and raving about our personal problems – work, school, relationships, politics.
When you’re in the middle of a divorce, you must never begin airing your grievances on Twitter or Facebook. This is public and will result in attorneys getting their hands on these posts.
It’s even worse when you’re airing your dirty laundry on social media but you refuse to talk to your partner about what’s concerning you and what your troubles are.
6. Going Into Debt to Get a Divorce
Divorce is expensive and will eat away at your finances. That said, you must never get into debt while you’re getting a divorce. Again, it comes with a hefty price-tag to divorce your spouse, but this should be paid for with assets, income and savings, and never with the credit card or line of credit.
Remember, you’re starting a new life once the divorce is finalized. Don’t start it with debt.
We are divorcing the person we once loved. We are divorcing the person we agreed to marry. We are divorcing the person who is the parent of your child. How disheartening this really is. Life happens, and this leads us to file for divorce. We may have fallen in love with someone else, we may have fallen out of love completely, we may have become sick and tired of the other person. The list of reasons for divorce is endless.
Although you should always attempt to rectify the situation and work it out, it can be sometimes impossible to turn down divorce. If it enters your mind, then you know something is up. A divorce lawyer is essential to the proceedings, never go at it alone.