March 2, 2015

A Day In The Life Of A Momma

The number wasn't in my contacts, but I recognized it as the school number. I swiped my thumb to answer the phone because curiosity is a strong influence and said hello.

"Momma! Where's Daddy? He's supposed to be here to pick me up, and Mrs. H says she can't leave me here unsupervised and Daddy's not here and I have no idea what to do." Hadley said all of this without taking one single breath.

"And you've tried to call Daddy?"

"Yes, Momma. Geez."

I assured her I'd call him and develop a plan for her.

I attempted to call Brian and left three voice mails. I knew for a fact the he hadn't turned the sound back on even though I've told him time and again that when the final bell goes off at school, he should turn his sound back on.

Then I  called my friend Dawn--we have adjoining rooms at school.

"Are you still at school?" I asked.

"In your room even," Dawn replied.

I explained that Hadley was waiting for Brian who was seemingly MIA--even though I hoped he was picking up Briley, even though it'd been over twenty-minutes since Briley got out of school, which was plenty of time for Brian to pick her up and return to Hadley. I knew this first-hand.

Dawn said I could send Hadley up to her and Mrs. H could go home and Brian could get Hadley from Dawn.

Finally I called Mrs. H back and told her to send Hadley to Dawn. I turned my phone off yet again and tossed it into my purse, which was sitting a chair adjacent to where I was waiting. For the doctor. The gynecologist to be exact.

No, this was not my gyno's table. Mine is country rose. Photo Source


All of this was done while wearing a sheet and waiting to put my feet in the stirrups.

A mom is never off duty.

Oh yeah ... Brian picked up Hadley & Briley and somehow, without his phone turned on, made it home with both of our kids.

February 23, 2015

Maybe it's the carbon monoxide talking ...

Let's just start with a cliché: when it rains it pours.

Let's do another one: you don't know what you've got until it's gone. 

Hows about one more: it's always darkest before dawn. 

What am I talking about? Our week. Yes, I know it's only Tuesday, but it's been L O N G so far. I'm trying hard to spin it positively in my mind.

Sure, our car is not running and no one seems to know the issue ... But! At least we have my mom's van to drive. And! The car didn't crap out in the middle of a dark highway without cell service. 

We currently have no heat ... But! We have a well-insulated roof over heads and neighbors who've loved on us when they didn't have to. And! We have a home warranty that keeps our costs relatively low. 

And our front bathroom floor indicates that we have leak--somewhere. But! We have two other toilets we can use. 

Our cats are keeping me awake all night long. But! They've caught four mice. 

Our gas logs are refusing to light. But! We have space heaters courtesy of our heat guy and neighbors. 

See? I'm finding the positive. 

Last night, as I went in a fruitless search for electric blankets, I ran into an acquaintance. He listened to my lamintations, then responded, "There but for the grace of God go I."

I smiled, but really, it's a sad response. The heart of the saying has good intentions and implies a thankfulness from the speaker. 

On the flip side, the core of the message implies that I have these maladies because I am not embraced with grace. 

If I may mix my metaphors, I cry B.S..

To return to my cliches, our circumstances are just the way the cookie crumbles ... 

And a funny thing about cookie crumbs: they come from something sweet and satisfying and are hard to sweep away. 

Much like the Grace of God ... Which is what will surround us always and in all circumstances. 


February 22, 2015

A tale of two shoes

The only thing left for us to be totally ready for Misti and Mark's wedding next weekend was shoes. Since Misti and Mark were engaged, our family has been stupid excited for this new chapter in their lives. Misti and I were in the 2012 NWA Listen To Your Mother show and have worked together on the OKC Listen To Your Mother show since then. In 2013, Hadley wouldn't let me talk about the show without asking me what Misti had to say about it. And last year, Briley said, "I can't remember how we're related to Misti." (PS--we're related by heart.)

Saturday, we had a perfect opportunity to get our wedding shoes. It was a gorgeous day and we were in the city and Shoe Carnival was having a sale.

Hadley is difficult to buy for because she wants to wear shoes that don't stand out and are comfy. She wanted to wear Chuck Taylor's to the wedding. When I tried to push her toward some cuter, more stylish shoes, she dug in her heels (figuratively and literally) and decided she wouldn't buy any shoes at all. We compromised, though. She'll be wearing a pair of my shoes and she can slip them off under the table when she's not walking anywhere--which will be all night long because she's a wall-flower like that.

Briley is difficult to buy for because she wants stripper heels.

That's right, my eleven year old, athletic, funny daughter wanted some six-inch, rhinestone studded heels. I vetoed them without any discussion.

She then chose some hideous grandma-type shoes which I said, "Really? Do you think you'll like those?" And she shook her head no before trotting off and returning with her original pair.

As if I would forget the stripper heels my fifth grader wanted to wear.

I chickened out recruited Brian help me out. "Go ask your daddy."

She returned defeated. "He said no then he went to the car." (Who's chickening out now?)

I argued the softball bit--if she fell off of those suckers, her season was done as we would try repairing her ankle. This caused her to pause, but ultimately the shoes were way sparkly.

I argued that if the Department of Human Services saw her wearing them, her daddy and I would go to jail. She shrugged it off.

I promised to take her to Target and buy her two pair of shoes if she'd just put the stripper heels down.

She got a pair of fleece-lined sequined moccasins, a pair of pink canvas, Tom's-like shoes, and a pair of black flat sandals.

Three pairs? Yep. They were on sale, and Target had stripper heels too. I had to up my ante.


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